just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
and you fell through a lawn chair
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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