And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
