I think I am morally bankrupt
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
NoShamevember. You game?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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