he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
PANTIES FOUND
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
