my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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