Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
