i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
