So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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