I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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