The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize