i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
