Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
