This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
