i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
