youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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