Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
