Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
