One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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