And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
