I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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