she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
