We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
