It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
