Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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