Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
