so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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