It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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