Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We smell like vodka and hangover
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
