well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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