I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
