Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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