FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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