Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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