Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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