i think my tv is drunk
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
