on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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