wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
