when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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