I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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