I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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