just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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