Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
