I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Sorry about my life...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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