Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
