You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I should be sponsored by Trojan
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize