Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize