Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
