Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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