glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize