Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
