i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
