Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
