ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
