You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
