pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
