If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So vagazzling was a success
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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