my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize