My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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