Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
