He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
